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Ow! Yeah, I think so. Wait a second. Is there something different about your hooves? Oh, Lord. I'm half-horse and half-naked. Where the hell are we, hell? Bender? I know not of this Bender. I'm Titanius Inglesmith. Welcome to Cornwood! Wretched peasants, put aside your cares and feast on the succulent flesh of the roast munchkin! Care for a slice of scroto? That's his name, right?'Tis also that, sir. We're honored this eve by a visit from my friends of old, Frydo and Legola. So let the dwarves do their gay dance and let the gnomes play their sissy piccolos.
Make it gaudy. I'm going clubbing later. Sir, all planetary defenses have been disabled. Perhaps the Decapodians acquired our secret codes somehow. Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame. Dr. Zoidberg, how can you claim to love freedom, and then enslave all of Earth? Your planet doesn't deserve freedom… until it learns what it is to not have freedom. It's a lesson, I say! What the hell is this dirt pile we're building? None of your beeswax, slave. You'll find out soon enough.
It all goes back to your parents. You have a resentment to study medicine, when all you ever wanted was to be a song-and-dance man. I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago. Then you've got to go to them and work this song-and-dance stuff out. Maybe have them cook me nice dinner. No scallions. I hate them. Amy, cancel my appointments. Stop calling me. Bender, please don't get mad, but I think you might be playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.
Kif's parents come late and we have to stand around in swamp getting eaten alive by damn bugs? Mrs. Wong, no. The final stage of my species' life cycle is a colony of flying hookworms. You just squashed part of my father. Sorry. I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare though, huh? And the awkward meter goes up another notch. Wow, Colleen, you look so beautiful in the light of the swamp gas. Thanks. This is really fun. I love going to exotic worlds and getting hammered. Two more Harvey Wallclimbers.
Won't that crush my bones? The bones. I always forget about the bones. I refuse to be dripped out through somebody's armpit. I can vomit or urinate. How's that? My favorite so far is the bone-crushing. What about crying? That's a great idea! That or the bone one. Keep it up, men. The veneer is starting to peel. Oh, dear. I want to cry, I'll make you cry, buddy. You're a pimple on society's ass! You'll never amount to anything! I was emperor of a planet.